Unexpected Relations
by JasonMorgan
Summary: It was one look. One compliment. It was nothing, right? Addison couldn't be falling for Alex Karev. It was unethical. It was laughable. It was too soon...and yet, it was happening.
1. And so it begins

What had that look shared between them last night meant? Did the deafening silence that consumed the air in the room around them after their words were spoken to one another signify anything? Addison had been searching for answers ever since the moment their eyes had succeeded in lingering on one another for a second too long. She had paid Doctor Karev a compliment. Nothing more, nothing less. He was a decent guy, and there was nothing inappropriate about Addison recognizing that…was there? Even if there was, Addison was not sure she regretted the kind words she had spoken to Alex. That was what scared her most. She wasn't supposed to be enjoying his company at all. He was a pain in the ass, and that was how it should stay. Addison wasn't going soft with him over a few nice words to that girl about telling her baby's father the truth. No, it was just a moment of weakness. She despised Alex Karev. He was disrespectful and cocky and stubborn. He was sweet too. Addison sighed, shaking her head in frustration.

_Damnit Addison, get it together. _

And yet, she couldn't forget his eyes. Those piercing eyes. He actually seemed proud to have received Addison's approval. He had smiled at her. He had responded with a genuine thank you and where did that leave Addison? It left her standing here in the woman's restroom during a break second guessing her emotional stability. Not that she wasn't stable. She was fine. It was just, well, since Derek she hadn't been herself. She was afraid to open up with anyone at this hospital anymore. Derek had hurt her. Mark had hurt her. Alex never had. Sure, he had called her Satan once or twice when she had first arrived at Seattle Grace last year, but Addison assumed that was more because of his friendship with Meredith than dislike for her. It didn't matter though. None of this mattered. They had a moment. It was unexpected and nice, but that was all there was to it.

"I'm alright…" Addison wasn't sure if she was making a statement or a question, but as she stared at her worn expression in the mirror, she realized that she had to get better control of herself. Derek had caused her to just let her heartache and fears consume her, but no more. No man defined her. She had to keep repeating that. Maybe one day she would start to believe that she truly did matter on her own again. As Addison exited the restroom, she felt her breath catch as she saw him walking towards her with that all too familiar arrogant smirk plastered on his face. "Addison, I mean, Doctor Montgomery" Alex greeted with a small nod of the head for recognition. "Addison is fine", Addison responded calmly. Inside she was screaming at herself. Addison was fine? Addison was not fine. She was his superior for God's sakes, and she needed to start acting like it again.

"Ok, Addison" , Alex corrected confidently. "How's it going?" Like Addison, Alex had been replaying their exchange in the ER last night over and over in his head, but unlike Addison, he wasn't the least bit nervous about it. He was unafraid of going after what interested him, and Addison sure as hell caught his attention. She was attractive and a well established doctor. There was also that sassy way she carried herself that drew Alex to her like a moth to a bright light. "Good. It's going good", Addison told him as an answer to his question. "As far as I know, Janelle and her baby are still stable. I'm about to go check up on them now if you'd like to join me." Of course he did, Alex thought to himself. He would follow her anywhere. "Yeah, sure." Addison sighed, grabbing her clipboard with Janelle's medical information on it. "She was transported from the ICU to a room last night. The rate of her recovery is astounding." It truly was a miracle. Addison had been concerned for the young mother to be, and to know that everything was looking bright for her future gave Addison a small dose of hope for hers. "That's great, wow", Alex was just as relieved as Addison.

He didn't admit it aloud to anyone, but he missed working under Addison. He missed encouraging women with their children and watching their smiles as they were told their child was going to make it. He hated having to say otherwise, but the job was still one he felt connected to. Addison had a valid point when she told Alex that joining Mark Sloan under Plastics was a mistake. "You were right", Alex said as they neared Janelle's room. "I'm sorry?" Addison asked, confused as to what he was referring to. "You were right, when you said that I'd miss you. I do." Addison stopped, biting her bottom lip. She remained quiet for a long time, and she could hear Alex shifting uncomfortably behind her. "I said I miss you", Alex repeated, not knowing what else to say or do. Addison turned slowly, a smile present on her face. "I heard you Alex. Thank you." Alex nodded, smiling back at her. "Sure." Addison sighed, that all too familiar feeling overcoming her as she felt herself getting lost in Doctor Karev's eyes. "Umm, Janelle…we should get to her." What? Why had Addison done that? Even she didn't understand herself sometimes. Why did she have to be so scared? She knew why though. She had been let down one to many times. She couldn't handle another disappointment. "Right, ok." Alex was upset. Addison could see the annoyance in his eyes as he shoved past her and into the room. She hadn't meant to hurt him. It was just easier this way. It was better that she hurt him before he could hurt her. It had to be.


	2. One date

Five minutes. Three-hundred seconds. That was exactly how much time had passed since Alex had put himself out on the line only to be rejected. He knew because he had been staring at nothing but his watch since entering Janelle's room. He could hear Addison in the background shuffling papers and then asking a somewhat conscious Janelle how she felt, but the biggest part of him was lost in his mind. Alex Karev had been shot down. No woman had ever denied him. Well, there was Izzie, but that was ancient history and Alex did not blame her for keeping a safe distance. He had slept with Olivia last year just when things between them was good, and then she fell in love with and lost Denny. Neither of them was in the right place to start something. Maybe that was it with Addison too. She had just been through a painful divorce with Derek Shepard. That bastard. Alex still felt his blood boil every time he thought of how that jerk had played both Addison and Meredith. Both girls deserved so much better than him. Meredith disagreed, and she was already seeing him again not even a month after his divorce from Addison was finalized. Addison had to be heartbroken. She was forced to walk the halls everyday met with pity and gloating stares from Derek. No one, no matter how strong a person was, could carry that weight on their shoulders without experiencing some long term aftereffects. Addison was probably being cautious because she had heard things about Alex and how he was the resident playboy of Seattle Grace. All that was true, well, it had been. He had changed a lot recently. He wouldn't let Addison down. She had always had faith in him as a person and his medical abilities, and he planned to return the favor. He would swallow his pride and to whatever it was she needed. She was what mattered.

"I'll wait", Alex whispered just loud enough so that only Addison could hear his promise.

Addison glanced over at him, uncertainty evident in her emerald eyes. She couldn't do this. Not here, not now. Alex was a good guy. Despite the way he came off to most people, deep down he was so far from the arrogant jerk he pretended to be. At least, that was what Addison had gathered from their short time working together. What if she was wrong? Her heart couldn't afford to be wrong. Even if she was willing to give Alex a chance, well, he was an intern. It was bad enough that Derek was with Meredith and Christina was with Burke. It was unethical, and she didn't want to risk the one thing she had left…respect. People may not appreciate her closed off attitude, but they did admire her work as a surgeon. No one could say anything negative about Addison Montgomery's professional attributes.

"Alex…", Addison responded in a meek tone.

She was desperately trying to fight off his advances. What would he want with her? He would charm her long enough to see how she was in bed, and then she would catch him in the arms of some other woman. It had happened with Mark only two months after they were together, and it had happened with Derek when she returned to Seattle with the hopes of repairing their eleven year marriage. People always left her. It would not be any different this time. Alex may think that he saw something in her, but he would get bored and move on. Addison would be left alone once more, and she would be more of a mess than she was now. She couldn't afford to break just when she was finally starting to put the pieces of her soul back together again.

"You matter to me, ok?" Alex knew that he could be overstepping boundaries, but he didn't know what else to do.

He had to find a way to get through to Addison. He had to make her see that he just wanted to make all of her pain and fear go away if just given the chance. He hadn't realized until last night when his gaze caught hers how much he cared for this woman. He had always fought with her since day one of her arrival at the hospital, and he used to take pleasure in nicknaming her with the other interns. McHot…Satan…The She Shepard. The problem was, she wasn't any of those things at all. Addison was so much more. She came off distant, but it was only because of personal problems that she tried so desperately to conceal from the outside world. She had cheated on Derek, yes, but he had returned the favor. He had lead her on when she mustered up the courage to fight for what they shared, and in the end she was left playing the part of the fool as he held hands with Meredith in the hallways as she passed by. Alex understood. He understood better than anyone possibly could. It was exactly how he had felt when Izzie abandoned him for Denny.

"Trust me, you don't want me Alex. You may think you do, but I'm not what you need." Addison sighed, looking straight at him for the first time since they had entered Janelle's room.

She did not want Alex making a mistake. She didn't want to make one either. She could see the sincerity in Alex's eyes, and it was touching, but a fantasy nonetheless. He thought he could save her from what had happened with Derek and Addison, and he thought that she could save him from Izzie as well. They weren't perfect though. Both were flawed, and there was more of a chance that they would destroy one another than fix one another. Addison could see it all playing out in her head now. Alex would realize that Addison's wounds were too deep to mend, and he would grow frustrated with himself for not being the man he had wanted to be for her. She would eventually begin to blame him for her unhappiness too, and everything they built would crumble. There was no use in starting something that would end up nowhere.

"You're wrong. You're exactly what I need." Alex smirked, reaching his hand out until it rested on Addison's shoulder.

She stiffened under his touch at first, but in the end she finally gave into his demands and relaxed. Alex knew that it wasn't easy for her, and he appreciated her willingness to listen to him one more time before making her final judgment.

"It's just dinner at Joe's. I'm not asking for anything you're not willing to give." Alex released his hand from Addison's body, and stepped back to give her the space she needed. He had said what he needed to say, and the rest was up to her. He would respect her no matter what she decided. Addison sighed, wondering what she was about to get herself into. She knew that she should just walk away, but Alex's voice caused her feet to stay planted firmly in place, and despite her best efforts, she felt a small smile find it's way to her face.

"Ok, Karev. One dinner."


	3. Screaming Inside

Addison had done it. She had agreed to accompany Alex Karev to dinner tonight at Joe's after her shift was over, and as the clock showed that she only had forty-five minutes before she had to make good on that promise, Addison could feel herself closing off. She should not have said yes. She had mistakenly gotten caught up in that charming smile of Alex's and now she was paying the price for it. Her body ached with regret as she exited Janelle's room. As if dealing with Karev wasn't enough to carry on ones shoulders, now Janelle and her baby were taking a turn for the worst. Addison couldn't understand it. How could the baby inside of Janelle fight so hard only to give up now? It was exactly how Addison felt about her marriage to Derek. She had fought so hard only to be forced to bow out with what dignity she had left in the end. It wasn't fair. Then again, life rarely was. As if on cue, Addison heard his smug voice come from behind her. 

"Hello soon to be ex-wife of mine" Derek spoke in an unusually chipper tone. He had been gloating ever since Meredith and him had reunited, and he made no effort to hide it from Addison. He refused to spare her any pain. Now she saw what it was like for Derek to have found out about her and Mark.

_Did I hear you right 'cause I thought you said Let's think it over _

_You have been my life And I never planned Growing old without you _

_Shadows bleeding through the light _

_Where the love once shined so bright _

_Came without a reason _

_Don't let go on us tonight _

_Love's not always black and white _

_Haven't I always loved you?_

Each gloating word he spoke only succeeded in pushing the dagger further into Addison's now fragile heart. She wasn't sure how much more of this she could take. She had been strong for so long, and with each shove from Derek she could feel her walls beginning to crumble all around. She had loved him with everything she had inside of her. She had made the worst mistake possible, yes, but she was hurt and not thinking straight. She had become invisible to Derek after eleven years of marriage, and she just felt so worthless. Mark Sloan was there and it just…happened. She had never meant to hurt Derek. That was the difference between the two of them. Addison had never wanted to make scars on Derek's heart, but he seemed to take immense pleasure in making her life a living hell. She just wanted to know when he would be done hurting her.

"Derek, don't. I know that you're with Meredith and you're happy, alright? I'm out of your life so lets just keep it that way. Don't talk to me unless it's medically related. Please."

_But when I need you You're almost here And I know that's not enough _

_And when I'm with you I'm close to tears '_

_cause you're only almost here _

_I would change the world If I had a chance _

_Oh won't you let me _

_Treat me like a child _

_Throw your arms around me _

_Oh please protect me _

_Bruised and battered by your words _

_Dazed and shattered how it hurts _

_Haven't I always loved you?_

Addison realized that she sounded like a thirteen year old girl begging to have her way, but she wasn't sure what other approach to take. Nothing she tried got thorough to Derek He had won. He had the woman he desired most, Meredith, back in his arms and Addison was once again all alone. Wasn't that enough for him? She couldn't comprehend how the man she had once adored so much could turn into someone so cruel. The Derek she had married would never treat her, or any other person, in such a manner. That's just the thing, he wasn't the same man anymore. She was different too. No matter how much both of them desired to cover it up, there was no denying that they weren't the people they fell in love with all those years ago. Time hadn't been kind to them, and their wounds were simply too deep to get past.

"Addie, I didn't mean…I'm sorry." Yes, it was a genuine apology from Derek Shepard. He saw the defeat in Addison's eyes, those same eyes he had gotten lost in years ago, and he felt the switch to his hate turn off. She was right. He had what he wanted, and rubbing it in her face would do no good. He didn't want to upset her more than she already was. Despite popular belief, Derek did not enjoy breaking Addison's heart. He had once loved her more than life itself, and a part of him would always remain connected to her. He didn't want to ruin what little decency they had left with one another.

"It's ok Derek, really." She was doing it again. One look into those ocean blue eyes and Addison was falling all over again. She couldn't fathom why she kept wanting Derek. He clearly wasn't interested in her, and pining for a man that was visibly content with another woman was degrading and useless. Addison felt her depression turn to anger, and she sighed as she thought of all sleeping with Mark had cost her. If she had just said no to him Derek and her would still be together. Maybe they would even be making good on their plans for a family. One misjudgment on her part, and all of that was gone. Everything she had ever known was taken away. She was forced to start over, and that scared Addison more than she was willing to admit. She had always been Addison Montgomery Shepard. She didn't know who she was without Derek by her side. "She's crashing! Doctor Montgomery!" Addison turned around instantly, running towards a fellow doctor screaming to her from Janelle's room. She felt hot tears spring to her eyes as she grabbed two electric chargers and placed them on Janelle's chest. She felt the young girl's chest rise and fall underneath her, and she watched the monitors continue to flow in a straight green line. "Janelle, don't do this. Fight for you and your child!" Addison felt determination shoot through her veins as she charged and re-charged on Janelle's tiny frame. She finally stopped when two arms around her shoulders pulled her back.

"She's gone…", Alex Karev spoke to Addison, hating that he could not tell her the words she so desperately wanted to hear.

"No, I, she was fine before. I could have done…I…" Addison felt the tears forming and she couldn't hide from them this time. There was no ignoring the pain she was in. It wasn't just Janelle. It was everything. It was Mark and Derek and Meredith and just…everything! Addison felt like such a failure.

"Hey, it's fine. You did what you could", Alex was trying his best to comfort Addison, but he had never been an expert when it came to emotions. Women crying had always made Alex nervous. He hated seeing it. It was even worse when you cared for the person and although Alex still wasn't sure what he thought of Addison anymore, well, he didn't want to see her hurting.

"You're wrong. Let go of me Karev", the venom in her own voice even surprised Addison, but she refused to back down. She was mad at the world, and damnit, everyone was going to know.

"Addison…" , Alex tried again, not really wanting to leave her alone in the state she was in.

"It's Doctor Montgomery, and I said get off of me!" Addison jerked away from his grasp, not even caring that all the other doctors in the room were staring at the two of them. She was tired of trying to be something she wasn't. She couldn't pretend anymore. She wasn't ok. She didn't know if she ever would be again. "This was a mistake. You're a mistake Karev. Just, get out of my face…"

Alex frowned, taking a few steps back as everyone in the room stared at him. His eyes were only looking at Addison though. He realized she was going through the worst time of her life right now, but he could not suppress the anger that shot through him as she yelled at him, calling him a mistake to her. Alex was embarrassed, and that was the one thing in the world his pride couldn't stand for him to be.

"Fine, I'm gone! Derek was right to leave you!" Alex turned, storming out of the room in a fit of anger. Screw Addison Montgomery.

Addison watched him go, and inside she just cracked more and more. She felt her feet guiding her to a familiar source of comfort, and sobs racked her body as Mark Sloan held onto her tight.

"It's ok Addison", He spoke soothingly, stroking her dark auburn hair.

"Make me forget. Please." Addison looked up at him through her tears, begging for him to just make all of the heartache vanish once and for all. Mark could feel her breath on his cheeks and she was so close. He wanted her, there was no denying that, but not like this. He wasn't what she needed. "I can't make you forget Addison, I'm sorry." Addison pulled back from him, her eyes scorched with the effects of rejection. Even Mark didn't want her anymore. "Leave", Addison commanded through clenched teeth. Mark hesitated, but he knew that there was nothing more he could do for her. Addison had to fix this on her own. Only she knew what was truly broken inside.


	4. The heart don't lie

Five…four…three….two….missed date. Addison watched the hour hand of the clock rest on the number seven, and she released a breath that she had not even realized she was holding in. If she hadn't blown up at Alex like she did then the two of them would be sitting at Joe's right now. Probably making small talk and dancing around the depth of their newfound feelings for one another. It would have been awkward, yes, but it certainly would have beat what she was doing now. She was sitting Indian style on the stained carpet of her hotel suit watching a rerun of Dallas. It was the finale. Who shot J.R. ? The question that left all of America guessing years ago. "More like who shot Addison…", she mumbled under her breath as she stuffed the remains of week old Chinese takeout into her mouth. "So this is what I'm reduced too." Addison shook her head, standing upright. She walked over to the kitchen and pushed the stale food into the trash can. When she looked up, she was met with the sight of a haggard looking cat perched on her windowsill. "Perfect. Now I'm a lonely old cat lady." The cat stayed frozen in place, it's yellow eyes zeroing in on her. "What are you looking at? Don't judge me." Addison laughed, surprising herself by the fact that she was arguing with a cat. "I should just transfer myself to the mental ward of Seattle Grace and get it over with."

_Take a look at my body  
Look at my hands  
There's so much here  
That I don't understand_

Your face saving promises  
Whispered like prayers  
I don't need them  
I don't need them

I've been treated so wrong  
I've been treated so long  
As if I'm becoming untouchable

Contempt loves the silence  
It thrives in the dark  
With fine winding tendrils  
That strangle the heart 

They say that promises  
Sweeten the blow  
But I don't need them  
No, I don't need them 

One hour later and she still hadn't made any progress. She was now shifting through a box hat held old photo albums of hers and Derek's life together. Tears slid down her cheeks as she scrutinized her wedding photograph. Those two people looked lit up from the inside out. How could this have happened to her? People got divorced, but she never thought that she would become one of those people. She was supposed to live the charmed life. Her and Derek should be chasing their children around and working hectic hours; but still managing to be content because they had each other. She should have trusted her pessimistic friends when they assured her that fairytales were stories that hadn't finished yet. This was what she got for holding onto hope. Addison was drawn out of her thoughts by the loud tapping on the door. She jumped to her feet, shoving the box and its remnants under the bed. "Hold on!" Addison looked at her reflecting in the mirror, cringing at the face staring back at her. She hastily rubbed some concealer underneath her eyes and ran a brush through her rose red hair before finally making her way to the door. "Alex…", she whispered with a trace of hope in her voice. That hope deflated the second she saw Derek standing in front of her. "Oh, it's you." She crossed her arms over her chest, glaring at her soon to be ex-husband. As soon as the papers were filed it would be official. "Don't sound so excited", Derek replied sarcastically.

_I've been treated so wrong  
I've been treated so long  
As if I'm becoming untouchable_

I'm a slow dying flower  
Frost killing hour  
The sweet turning sour  
And untouchable

Oh, I need  
The darkness  
The sweetness  
The sadness  
The weakness  
I need this 

"Let me try that again", Derek corrected, taking notice of Addison's clearly annoyed expression. "May I come in?" Addison furrowed her brows together, unsure of Derek's motives. When had he ever wanted to talk to her? Now that he had his loyal intern by his side she thought he would finally let her have some peace. "Derek, there is nothing left to say. You love Meredith. I hurt you and you hate me and I think that sums it all up." Derek averted his crystal blue eyes to the ground, clasping his hands together in that nervous fashion of his. Addison could remember lying awake at night, watching him rub his hands raw after a particularly draining surgery. Up all night worrying for a patient. She could relate. That was in the past though. They had nothing to relate to anymore. "I don't hate you", Derek finally responded. Addison sighed, straightening her posture. "Oh? Could have fooled me." Derek hung his head, releasing a sigh of his very own. "I know, and I'm sorry." Addison shook her head, sure that she had just hallucinated. "I thought I just heard you apologize. I must be dreaming. That, or I'm drunk." Derek laughed, shrugging his shoulders. "You aren't imagining it Addy. I said I'm sorry and I mean it." He had called her Addy. Even when they had been together attempting to repair their marriage, Derek had never gone back to calling her by his favorite nickname for her. "What's this about?", Addison asked, never a fan of taking the naïve approach and refraining from asking questions. She deserved an explanation for Derek's sudden change of heart. Derek took a step closer to her, his warm hands resting on top of hers. She almost pulled away, but something in his eyes had her paralyzed. "It's about us", Derek answered, squeezing her hands in assurance. "I ended it with Meredith tonight. Today, at the hospital, my taunting you was just a cover. I was too proud to show what I really felt. I'm miserable without you Addison." Addison frowned, taking a step back from him. "Don't. I can't handle this Derek." But Derek didn't leave. He stayed planted in place, refusing to back down from his confession. "I want you back. I want to fix this for real this time." Addison opened her mouth to speak, but no sound was produced. She could feel her steel walls crumbling around her as Derek's smooth hand began to caress her cheek. She leaned into his touch, the familiarity of it consuming her. "We can't", she finally got out in a meek tone. "We can", Derek corrected, capturing her lips with his own. Addison was stunned at first, but within seconds she was responding to her desires. She felt herself stumbling into the room. She heard Derek close the door behind him, and felt the bed beneath her as Derek slowly began to undress her. She was so caught up in the moment that she hadn't even seen Alex Karev lurking in the shadows a few feet behind where Derek stood. She hadn't seen the flowers he held crashing to the floor as turned fast, rushing out of the hotel. She hadn't even heard the sound of his heart breaking in two.

_Do you remember the way  
That you touched me before  
All the trembling sweetness  
I loved and adored?  
_

_Is it dark enough?  
Can you see me?  
Do you want me?  
Can you reach me?  
Or I'm leaving_

You better shut your mouth  
Hold your breath  
Kiss me now you'll catch my death  
Oh, I mean it


End file.
